Tall Femme: You Are On a Smoke Date, Dandelion! | Autostraddle

Phoning all Homoganjas! Why don’t we discuss everything Marijuana connected, from legalization to pop tradition to making your own bong using a box of Diva glasses and a broken light.

Whether you are a novice who doesn’t understand a blunt from a shared, or perhaps you’re making plans for your homosexual dream marriage to Mary Jane, this line is actually for you. Puff, Puff, Pass.

Header by
Rory Midhani

It’s saturday evening. Or Monday evening. Perhaps it’s Tuesday afternoon. I’m not sure everything. But that woman you’ve been swooning more than is on her means over here. You are aware, the one who allows you to notice stresses of «Closer» in your head if you take a look at the lady? she is coming more than for a hangout. And she’s delivering an eighth of OG Kush. For you personally to placed on a clean shirt and rinse that bong, as you’re on a smoke date, Dandelion!

Smoking times may have several advantages. Obviously, you are relaxed sufficient in one another’s organization to participate in semi-illegal tasks together (unless you live in a progressive condition and are a card-carrying health cannabis individual). In addition, she doesn’t mind investing long periods of time to you. There’s no this type of thing as a «quick grass break.» Toking upwards is actually, by meaning, a time-intensive process. There is the uncomfortable small talk, one spark up, the moving around of the goods before they truly are cashed . Then you’ve the high it self, that’ll often ground you for at least an hour or so, based your own strain/tolerance. Subsequently however, absolutely the procurement of munchies, together with eating of mentioned munchies. Next most likely another joint/blunt/bowl. We are talking a good four to five attacks of

Futurama

here, therefore get comfortable. This might take some time. But another person desires spend that much time with you! tall five!

Songs

1st, turn fully off the Bob Marley. This isn’t Freshman season. We all know whom shot the sheriff and the deputy also. Simply play anything mellow inside background or spin
Carmen’s combine for smoking
.

Speak About

+ Smoking. What you are actually puffing. Where you first got it. The way you tend to be puffing it. Exactly what your choices tend to be.

+ SUCH A THING pop tradition associated. Please expound on your theories of Leisha Hailey’s Yoplait commercial, the tragic termination of Bomb Girls, or exactly who the bang A is. Since it is gotta be Aria, correct? What i’m saying is, think about it.

+ Conspiracy theories! Large everyone is interested in conspiracy ideas like moths to a dubious fire. Is actually region 51 an alien think-tank? Are the Illuminati operating American Clothing? Tend to be Tegan and Sara Quin EXACTLY THE SAME PERSON?

Dont Mention

+ complex geopolitical issues. Can you really end up being articulate concerning worldwide financial meltdown if you are stumbling ovaries? Unless you’re an Aaron Sorkin figure, the solution isn’t any. It just got you twenty moments to figure out how much to tip the pizza shipment guy. Slow down the roll.

+ upsetting individual tales. Its awesome that you would like to open up to this individual. The good news is isn’t the most readily useful time. Severe stories tend to be for sober minutes, therefore wish their own complete focus on ensure you’re in a safe area. Also, no one wants to harsh their particular buzz.

Suggested Viewing

Too Cute! Puppies

is a proper show that exists because America. It’s just pups running around. It is essentially what plays inside my head on a consistent circle once I region out. Its probably the greatest thing that has had ever before existed ever before.

Cartoons:

Simpsons

,

Futurama

,

Household Guy

,

Bob’s Burgers

,

Archer

(Pam!).

Youtube videos of cats. SIMPLE ADEQUATE.

Honorable Mentions

The greatest Beyonce fan video ever.

I adore this movie so much i do want to wed it. I would like it playing during the delivery space once I birth my personal children. I want it playing on a set cycle on my tombstone like an eternal flame. This movie finishes me.

Truly The Only Celebration Trick Needed

Ah, the time honored custom of shotgunning aka the strike straight back. It really is ridiculous, it’s gorgeous plus it becomes the mouth area in extremely near distance to her throat. Shotgunning is actually a gateway medicine to making down. The standard shotgun is when Person A inhales and breathes the smoke into individual B’s mouth. Quite simple.

Now let’s talk about the sophisticated cigarette smokers personals {A|thea takes the combined (WARNING: this just works together a combined!) and sets the lighted result in their own mouth. Person B next sucks on the other side end while Individual A blows. It has the consequence of producing individual the seem like a fearless, fire-swallowing badass. Simply don’t eat the burning up conclusion, kids. Some of us discovered that the tough way.

Last But Not Least

Remember to remain safe. Smoking inside your limits. Do not force your own go out or feel pressured to smoke cigarettes more than you should. Cannabis permission is sensuous. And make sure all of us have a safe ride residence and a soft location to crash. Because stoned cuddles? The greatest sort of cuddles.